how religion keeps us apart

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how religion keeps us apart

Unread postby guitarheroguy12 » Sun Jan 30, 2011 12:30 pm

hey guys, whats up? i know i have not been here in a long while, but i just had an experience and i kind of need to vent (the good venting, not the bitchy type venting) and decided the best place to do it would be here to get your take on things. so here is the story:

i met this girl (lets call her kristen) on the first day of college, which on its own is extraordinary for me cause im probably the most pitable man on the planet when it comes to talking to girls. and over the semester we grew to be great friends, i didn't party at all and she was a big partier, she used to call me when she was drunk at parties and i would either pick her up in my car, or walk her home when she didn't feel safe. whenever we would study together in the library i would buy her a coffee when i went to get one, and she would love it because i knew her favorite type and everything. i went through the painful task of downloading and learning the lyrics to bands such as taylor swift, the avett brothers, and mupherd and sons so that we could sing along to it on long car rides to the lake we enjoyed going to together because she doesn't like my music that i listen to. (death metal) hell ive even been to BIBLE STUDY with her a few times because she insisted i go with her. here is the big one though, about a week before finals on the day im supposed to start my new job as a radio show host i got a call from her, as soon as i heard her crying i knew i wasnt studying for finals or doing a show that night. she informed me that her mother (who had been addicted to drugs for going on 10 years) and her father were getting a divorce, and on top of that her brother collapsed during wrestling practice because he had a disease that caused his stomach acid to eat through his stomach. i dropped everything that night and we spent the rest of that night outside in 20 degree weather in a field on a blanket, she was so upset she had forgotten her jacket so i gave her mine. and all we did all night was sit there on a blanket and talk and i tried to make her feel better, i held her, told her everything would be ok, did everything in my power to make this amazing girl happy. (also i caught pneumonia the following days for being outside in 20 degree weather without a jacket for 6 hours.)

ready for the funny part people? after all this i gave her time to recover from all that had happened, waited until it passed. and she was back to normal. it took me a long time to work up to it, but i was finally gonna do it, i was finally going to ask her out, and she was going to say yes, how could she not? here is the conversation in not so many words:

me: hey....um kristen...uhhh would you go out with me?
her: sure, where you wanna go this time?
me: no... kristen i mean do you want to go out with me, like on a date.
( her paraphrased) : matthew i would, if only you believed in god...
me: (fighting the urge to get up and just walk out) im sorry?
her: i just dont think i could go out with let alone have a meaningful relationship with a man who didn't believe in god.
me: (i got up and walked the hell out)

that was about 2 days ago, and i have not heard from her, or gotten a text from her, and i really dont want to. now im not trying to type a woe is me story here so ill tie it all together with a question! has anything like this ever happened to you, whether on a larger scale as in being separated from a community, or something like a girl turning you down for the sake of religion?

i thank anyone who has made it to this point in my post for putting up with my terrible grammar and punctuation. i feel much better now and eagerly await hearing your thoughts and/or stories.
Last edited by guitarheroguy12 on Sun Jan 30, 2011 12:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"you keep your facts, I want the truth!" - Stephan colbert.
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Re: how religion keeps us apart

Unread postby HalloweenWeed » Sun Jan 30, 2011 9:17 pm

Yeah, I have met a few of those. I now think many of those girls who shunned me in HS were just religious prudes. There were those who would not consider a man (boy) who did not attend her kind of church, a behavior ingrained on her by her parents. Esp Catholic. But you know what, I'm glad I didn't get hitched to that kind anyway. It would have been torture for life.

Too bad I took rejection so hard. Bc I took rejection so hard, there were few girls I openly tried to become friends with. I also did not know that "cuteness" is a good thing. When they laugh at you, it can be endearing, I just thought it was humiliating; and quit doing anything around those girls. Unfortunately, there were few girls where I partied (unrelated to this thread subject), and the one's that were there were often whores, had a few children and unmarried and living with their parents. I did not want to get mixed up in their soap-opera lives.


Anyway, that reminds me, I've seen a few girls who treated some guys the way you describe, and they usually just look at you as a regular friend, not a candidate for boyfriend. You know that concept of once you are friend, you cannot be boyfriend? That was the kind of relationship where you should be glad not to be sexually involved. You would have a good night or two, then she would say she just wanted to be friends, nothing else. You would hang on, hoping to become her soul-mate one day. She would get pregnant from some no-good slob after one of those parties, and you would become the babysitter. There's even a good chance he might be a wife-beater. You would have the non-sexual half of her, she might even marry another man and still you are the babysitter. No man, you should run from that one, don't look back. If you really love her, you would want her to be happy no matter what, even if 'what' is another man. Could even end up at odds with that man, some murders come about that way.

Try to forget about her, good luck to you.
"Religion is just mind control." "Atheism is a non-prophet organization." - George Carlin
"If God existed, why would he care about any of the us fools contributing to the end of the earth as we know it?" - HalloweenWeed
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Re: how religion keeps us apart

Unread postby HalloweenWeed » Sun Jan 30, 2011 9:19 pm

HalloweenWeed wrote:Yeah, I have met a few of those. I now think many of those girls who shunned me in HS were just religious prudes. There were those who would not consider a man (boy) who did not attend her kind of church, a behavior ingrained on her by her parents. Esp Catholic or Jewish. But you know what, I'm glad I didn't get hitched to that kind anyway. It would have been torture for life.

Too bad I took rejection so hard. Bc I took rejection so hard, there were few girls I openly tried to become friends with. I also did not know that "cuteness" is a good thing. When they laugh at you, it can be endearing, I just thought it was humiliating; and quit doing anything around those girls. Unfortunately, there were few girls where I partied (unrelated to this thread subject), and the one's that were there were often whores, had a few children and unmarried and living with their parents. I did not want to get mixed up in their soap-opera lives.


Anyway, that reminds me, I've seen a few girls who treated some guys the way you describe, and they usually just look at you as a regular friend, not a candidate for boyfriend. You know that concept of once you are friend, you cannot be boyfriend? That was the kind of relationship where you should be glad not to be sexually involved. You would have a good night or two, then she would say she just wanted to be friends, nothing else. You would hang on, hoping to become her soul-mate one day. She would get pregnant from some no-good slob after one of those parties, and you would become the babysitter. There's even a good chance he might be a wife-beater. You would have the non-sexual half of her, she might even marry another man and still you are the babysitter. No man, you should run from that one, don't look back. If you really love her, you would want her to be happy no matter what, even if 'what' is another man. Could even end up at odds with that man, some murders come about that way.

Try to forget about her, good luck to you.
"Religion is just mind control." "Atheism is a non-prophet organization." - George Carlin
"If God existed, why would he care about any of the us fools contributing to the end of the earth as we know it?" - HalloweenWeed
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Re: how religion keeps us apart

Unread postby Intercourseman72 » Mon Jan 31, 2011 6:33 am

I really have absolutely nothing that compares to such an experience. The only time I was in an even semi-romantic relationship with a girl who was religious it was for 2 months plus or minus a few days during my summer break between junior and senior year of high school. Thing was that we weren't really attached to each other in a very intimate way. This girl was a total slut and kept me busy at many times 2 times a day and still made time to spread her legs open for someone else afterward (or between our 'sessions'). So it was kind of nice given that we never felt obligated to each other but it also sucked because I had to wear a condom every single time and refused to sleep in the same bed as her. We liked each other more and more up until about 5 or 6 weeks after screwing each other's brains out. It wasn't some kind of teen puppy love and neither of us thought we were anything like pseudo sole-mates even though she was Catholic and devoutly believed in monogamy and finding 'the one' and that kind of stuff. We were just good companions for a while until we got sort of bored. After that summer we drifted a part slowly but steadily until about 2 years ago when she started going to UCLA and I know for a goddamn fact that she's been drilled like BP did to the ocean floor. We barely even e-mail more than twice a year or so now.

The only way for this experience of mine to be at all similar to yours is if I got some sort of STD (and I have checked myself recently) just how you got pneumonia. I simply found someone who liked to have sex the way most people watch TV. It was just a past-time for her. I really had no shot at any meaningful emotional attachment with her. But in all actuality, the fact that she would have no chance in hell at remaining monogamous probably repelled me from trying to get more emotionally involved with her.

This is the most similar thing I can think of to what you went through and it's pretty much a total opposite scenario. At least you had some principles you upheld for yourself. Thing is that she upheld her own as well. All I got out of that basically was a few fairly acrobatic sex positions that no one has been willing to try with me since then. That was probably the most intimate relationship i've had really. Certainly the longest. It probably has to do with me hating people and being pretty void of emotion because even the emoish atheist nihilistic curmudgeon girls really start to bore/annoy me after a while. And that's essentially what I am without the emo and vagina part. Lots of 'nice guys' or guys who tend to be friends of girls and get ruled out of the to do list (from what i can tell) seem to try to bribe girls into liking them. This kind of stuff doesn't turn them on, but really, I wouldn't consider it a downgrade from where guys are who simply control girls and dominate them. I am somewhere in the middle, but likely have even less success with relationships. I neither bribe nor coerce women into being in a relationship with. Thus, I've never had someone I can call a 'girlfriend' in the traditional sense because i'm probably not at all 'boyfriend' material myself. It's not much of a chore getting laid in college but i've had no luck with relationships nonetheless. I just hope if I do stumble upon such an anomaly that I don't have to put up with some kind of bigoted religious zealot. That would be something that not only would I allow myself to succumb to pneumonia for, but I might even wear pants at meals. Well, one of those things might be a little too much of a sacrifice.
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Re: how religion keeps us apart

Unread postby Azmodan Kijur » Wed Feb 16, 2011 5:43 pm

My condolences, GHG. Having someone say something like that is never fun. Forget her though - if she is that shallow, then she ain't worth pursuing.
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