jokes/logic problems/logical rants

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Re: jokes/logic problems/logical rants

Unread postby DarthRavanger » Wed Sep 01, 2010 2:31 am

UnwantedSunbeam wrote:I have no idea where to put this, but my head hurts.

Image

so jane is her own parents? confusing.
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Re: jokes/logic problems/logical rants

Unread postby UnwantedSunbeam » Wed Sep 01, 2010 7:09 pm

More so Jane was every person in the story, it's more confusing than the 12 Monkies.
One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Which road do I take?" she asked. "Where do you want to go?" was his response. "I don't know", Alice answered. "Then", said the cat, "It doesn't matter.”
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Re: jokes/logic problems/logical rants

Unread postby DarthRavanger » Thu Sep 02, 2010 11:20 pm

UnwantedSunbeam wrote:More so Jane was every person in the story, it's more confusing than the 12 Monkies.

gotta wonder how that time loop got started.
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Re: jokes/logic problems/logical rants

Unread postby UnwantedSunbeam » Fri Sep 03, 2010 6:05 am

DarthRavanger wrote:gotta wonder how that time loop got started.


This is a bit embarassing but; when a mummy hermaphrodite loves a hobo time traveller very much.........
One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Which road do I take?" she asked. "Where do you want to go?" was his response. "I don't know", Alice answered. "Then", said the cat, "It doesn't matter.”
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Re: jokes/logic problems/logical rants

Unread postby DarthRavanger » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:40 pm

UnwantedSunbeam wrote:
DarthRavanger wrote:gotta wonder how that time loop got started.


This is a bit embarassing but; when a mummy hermaphrodite loves a hobo time traveller very much.........

funny. What I mean is, In the time loop, jane performs every action needed to ensure her existence. Gotta wonder what time travel rules are being used, since there is no reason given in the story for that time loop to have ever happened (thus no reason for jane to exist). There is no indication that there was ever a proto-jane, whose parents were not herself, who by her own actions, propagated a timeline in which hermaphrodite-jane uses a time loop to remain in existence.
Last edited by DarthRavanger on Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: jokes/logic problems/logical rants

Unread postby UnwantedSunbeam » Thu Sep 09, 2010 11:03 am

Bread Kills!
1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death.

5. Bread is associated with all the major diseases of the body. For example, nearly all sick people have eaten bread. The effects are obviously cumulative:

* 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten bread.
* 100% of all soldiers have eaten bread.
* 96.9% of all Communist sympathizers have eaten bread.
* 99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate bread within 6 months preceding the accident.
* 93.1% of juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread is served frequently.

6. Evidence points to the long-term effects of bread eating: Of all people born before 1839 who later dined on bread, there has been a 100% mortality rate.

7. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as a teaspoon of dough can be used to suffocate a lab rat. The average American eats more bread than that in one day!

8. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

9. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and being fed only water begged for bread after as little as two days.

10. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

11. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

12. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

13. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

14. Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:

1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.
One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Which road do I take?" she asked. "Where do you want to go?" was his response. "I don't know", Alice answered. "Then", said the cat, "It doesn't matter.”
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Re: jokes/logic problems/logical rants

Unread postby UnwantedSunbeam » Sat Sep 25, 2010 6:47 pm

Hospital Know It All

At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.

While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?”


“Good question,” noted the CFO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages.”


“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.


“What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?”

“Ah, yes,” replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster.”

“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. “Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?”

“Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CFO. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick.”
One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Which road do I take?" she asked. "Where do you want to go?" was his response. "I don't know", Alice answered. "Then", said the cat, "It doesn't matter.”
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Re: jokes/logic problems/logical rants

Unread postby HalloweenWeed » Sat Sep 25, 2010 7:53 pm

DarthRavanger wrote:
UnwantedSunbeam wrote:More so Jane was every person in the story, it's more confusing than the 12 Monkies.

gotta wonder how that time loop got started.

:shock: Kinda like the chicken and egg thing, huh? :lol:
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Re: jokes/logic problems/logical rants

Unread postby DarthRavanger » Sat Sep 25, 2010 8:35 pm

HalloweenWeed wrote:
DarthRavanger wrote:
UnwantedSunbeam wrote:More so Jane was every person in the story, it's more confusing than the 12 Monkies.

gotta wonder how that time loop got started.

:shock: Kinda like the chicken and egg thing, huh? :lol:

It strikes me that such a time loop would never occur naturally, and that someone must have created the time loop through some very bizarre scenario. I'm curious as to how the original timeline played out, since the proto-jane responsible for the time loop's existence would not have been born from herself, but natural humans. It just puzzles me how, logically, Proto-Jane managed to create a scenario where hermaphrodite jane needed to fuck herself in order to exist.
Last edited by DarthRavanger on Sat Sep 25, 2010 8:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: jokes/logic problems/logical rants

Unread postby UnwantedSunbeam » Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:41 am

One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Which road do I take?" she asked. "Where do you want to go?" was his response. "I don't know", Alice answered. "Then", said the cat, "It doesn't matter.”
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